Gore Vidal - At the HuffPo

Gore Vidal is pleased with all the movies coming out that have gay themes. He's all excited about Brokeback Mountain and Capote. Not necessarily because they are great films, but because they have gay themes or characters.

Everybody is talking about the gay cowboy movie. Except everybody seems to forget one thing: these arent cowboys. They are gay sheepherders. Even Gore alludes to the notion that these two men were getting bored with the sheep: "You can see how the two sheepherders might get tired of the sheep and begin to look to each other, as a kind of variation on a theme."

But if you read between the lines you'll find that Mr. Vidal doesnt have a problem with sheep sex. Sex is just sex, doesnt matter if its gay sex or sex with animals, and I would have to assume that this same logic would apply to consenting minors. There is no such thing as unnatural sex according to Vidal. Its just about getting your rocks off.
Now, before you start screaming, I am not trying to equate beastiality with homosexuality. Quite the contrary, I couldnt care less who you have sex with. You can have sex with an apple pie (thanks, Hollywood) for all I care. But puleeeeeazzzze....leave the animals out of it, Gore.

"It is traditional, it is biologically correct; mammals have been performing same-sexual acts ever since the first mammal was created."
Thats because they are animals, Gore. They dont do it because they are in love with other. My male dog mounts my other male dog all the time, and its a power-control thing, not doggie love. Sometimes he gets the wrong end and humps the side of the other dogs head. Then a fight breaks out. He doesnt love my leg either or the pillow on the floor. He is just an animal. Mammals have also been ripping each others throats out since they first appeared on the planet, I dont think its 'natural' for us to go around doing that, do you? Look, if you are attracted to the same sex, all the power to you. But dont assume that I am close-minded just because I dont clap you on the back and say, 'nice job, I gotta tell my kids about this'.

Vidal says, "Sex is a continuum. You go through different phases along life’s way … and if you don’t, you’ve been sort of cheated."

What does that even mean? Does it mean that if I havent experimented with gay sex at some point in my life I've been cheated? That is ridiculous. I couldnt care less if people want to love a person of the same sex. Homosexuality has been around as long as we have and its not going away. Love each other and do it well.

In an episode of The Simpsons, the family is at the annual town parade when the gay community goes marching by. They chant "We're here! We're Queer! Get used to it!!". To which Lisa shouts back, "We are used to it, you guys do this every year!!!".
The Simpsons once spoofed Gore Vidal in an episode. Lisa is lamenting the fact that she has not yet been kissed by a boy. She's holding a book by Gore Vidal and looking at his picture on the back of the books jacket sleeve and she sighs, "Even he has kissed more boys than I ever will...". Marge corrects her, "Girls, Lisa! Boys kiss girls...."

But as I mentioned earlier, I dont think Gore has a problem with beastiality either. Sex is sex. Authorities recently arrested a group of pervs in Washington state who were having sex with horses, goats, dogs, sheep, and other animals. Their defense in court was that the animals werent harmed and didnt mind, so it was a natural thing between man and animal. How long will it take before we are 'tolerant' of this practice?

Vidal says,
"People are in prison for having done “unnatural acts” as they call it. Who is to say what is an unnatural act?"
The horse, Gore, the horse. If only he could speak.

"Look, homophobia is fed into every child in the United States at birth. It is unrelenting, it never lets up. "
Hogwash. I didnt even understand what sex was until the 5th grade. I sure didnt know or understand anything about gay lifestyles. Nowadays, its actually the opposite of what Vidal claims: our children are indoctrinated from pre-school on that gay behaviour is normal and to be admired. So, dont feed me that line of tired victimology.

Vidal then lets loose with this gaseous anal emission: "The events that befell poor President Clinton were all done because he wanted healthcare for everyone in the country, so you get him on dalliance with Monica in the White House. This was all cooked up to destroy the most intelligent politician in the history of the United States. "
Okay....you can believe that if you want, but now you are delusional. Poor Bill Clinton. The married, bible toting, church-going leader of our nation groping and humping everything he could lay his philandering hands on, and then looking directly into the camera and lying to the American people, his wife, and his daughter. Then taking the stand in court under oath and perjuring himself. Yeah, he's a great guy, a pillar of respect, Mr. Vidal.

Dont worship a movie (or a politician) just because of its theme. It still has to be good. You guys did that with "The Day After Tomorrow" and that movie was total garbage. So is Brokeback Mountain. It is boring, what we guys call a 'chick flic'. In fact, its soooo boring that the two characters in the movie stop having sex with sheep and start doing each other. Two big thumbs up! Its a nature movie.

And we all know the Academy loves nature flics. Expect this one to get all the honor it deserves from the Hollywood elite this Sunday.

link to Gore Vidal column